By a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who’s seen a few things
Let me lovingly say this: You are not your partner’s Savior.
Yes, I know you love them. Yes, you vowed to show up “for better or worse.” But even Jesus took time to rest, and so should you. In fact, individual well-being isn’t a luxury—it’s a lifeline for the health of your relationship.
Here’s the truth: a thriving relationship is made up of two whole, healthy people—not two exhausted martyrs trying to pour from empty cups. When you tend to your own mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, you’re actually doing a holy thing. You’re showing up to love your person from a full heart, not a frazzled one.
So how do we live this out?
- Give each other space without guilt. Just because you need a solo walk or a night with your book doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your spouse. It means you’re refueling so you don’t accidentally throw the book at them later.
- Respect boundaries. If your partner says they need 30 minutes of quiet time after work, don’t take it personally. Take it as an invitation to start dinner, pray, or scroll TikTok in peace.
- Ask: “How can I support your self-care?” Maybe it’s watching the kids so they can finally hit that hot yoga class. Maybe it’s sending them to Target with $20 and zero expectations (a spiritual experience, honestly).
Here’s your rich reminder: God created us for connection and for rest. Your relationship isn’t harmed when you take care of yourself—it’s strengthened.
So, take that nap. Drink that water. Go to therapy. And love your partner enough to let them do the same.
Two healthy people, plus Jesus? That’s a strong cord not easily broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
Check out the link below for talking points to help your partner practice self care this week.
https://www.instagram.com/p/DKzYhY4MeE5/?img_index=1
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