“And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together.” Mark 10 vs. 9
Entering into marriage is one of the most significant commitments a couple can make. It’s a journey that promises joy, growth, and challenges. As a faith-based therapist, I believe that premarital counseling is an invaluable step in preparing engaged couples for this lifelong partnership. Here’s why premarital counseling is essential from a faith-centered perspective.
1. Foundation of Shared Values
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
In the Christian faith tradition, shared values play a crucial role in building a strong marital foundation. Premarital counseling provides a space for couples to explore their beliefs, values, and expectations about marriage. This exploration helps identify common goals and potential areas of division. Discussing topics such as family dynamics, communication, finances, sexual intimacy and spiritual intimacy ensures that both partners are on the same page and feel heard in their beliefs, creating a solid foundation for their future together.
2. Effective Communication Skills
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1 vs. 19
Effective communication is essential, especially in marriage. Premarital counseling equips couples with tools to communicate openly and honestly. By practicing active listening, expressing feelings, and discussing concerns in a constructive manner, couples can foster a deeper understanding of each other. In premarital counseling, couples are taught their partner’s communication style and how to verbally express themselves without attacking one another. This skill set can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts, allowing for healthier dialogue throughout their marriage.
3. Conflict Resolution Strategies
“Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” Ephesians 4 vs. 3
No relationship is without conflict. A key component of premarital counseling is teaching couples how to handle disagreements in a constructive way. Faith-based therapy often incorporates scriptural principles and teachings on forgiveness, grace, and reconciliation, helping couples navigate conflict with care and respect. Learning how to resolve disputes effectively can strengthen the unity in the relationship and strengthen the couple’s bond.
4. Understanding the Role of Faith
“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Genesis 2:24
For many couples, I have worked with faith is a key pillar in marriage. Premarital counseling offers a unique opportunity to discuss how faith will play a role in their marriage. This includes exploring spiritual practices, such as prayer, worship, and involvement in local ministry, and how these practices can enhance their relationship. A shared spiritual journey can be a powerful source of strength and guidance throughout their marriage.
5. Setting Goals for the Future
Premarital counseling encourages couples to envision their future together. I often ask couple to describe the Dream Marriage in premarital counseling. This includes discussing personal goals, family planning, and career aspirations. By aligning their visions, couples can work together to create a roadmap for their lives. This alignment fosters teamwork and mutual support, making it easier to be in alignment towards future goals.
6. Building a Support Network
“Without consultation and wise advice, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they are established and succeed.” Proverbs 15:22
Involving a faith community can be a vital aspect of marriage. Premarital counseling often encourages couples to consider how their families, friends, mentors and faith communities can support their relationship. Establishing a network of couple mentors and supportive relationships can provide encouragement and wisdom as the new couple take on their journey together.
7. Preventing Future Issues
While no one enters marriage expecting problems, many couples can benefit from addressing potential challenges before they arise. Premarital counseling allows couples to explore sensitive topics, such as finances, intimacy expectations, and parenting styles. By discussing these issues early on, couples can develop strategies to manage them effectively, reducing the likelihood of future conflicts.
8. Commitment to Lifelong Growth
Finally, premarital counseling reinforces the idea that marriage is a journey of growth and discovery. Couples are encouraged to view their relationship as a dynamic partnership that evolves over time. A faith-based perspective emphasizes the importance of ongoing communication, prayer, and reflection as the couple navigates life together.
Conclusion
Premarital counseling is not merely a checkbox on the path to marriage; it is a vital investment in a couple’s future. By participating in this process, engaged couples can build a strong foundation rooted in shared values, effective communication, and spiritual commitment. As a faith-based therapist, I have witnessed firsthand the transformative impact of premarital counseling. It equips couples with the tools and insights they need to embark on their journey together with confidence and grace. If you’re considering marriage, I encourage you to embrace the opportunity for growth and connection that premarital counseling offers.
Your future marriage and family together deserves it.
– Deborah Richelieu, LMFT