Marriage Lessons During the 2020 Pandemic

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Deborah Richelieu, LMFT

In couples therapy, (when it is relevant to a couple’s goal) I will self disclose and offer real life examples from my own marriage. When the pandemic arrived in 2020, my husband and I had been married for eight years. The sudden shift in our daily lives forced us to confront and adapt to many changing expectations in our relationship. Here are some key lessons we learned about marriage during this challenging time:

  1. Respectful Communication:
    Avoid talking to your spouse like a child; remember they are an adult. Treating each other with respect is essential for a long-term partnership.

  2. Avoid Demeaning Language:
    Never speak down to your spouse in front of others. It’s embarrassing and damaging. If you find yourself slipping into this habit, commit to changing it for the sake of your relationship.

  3. Practice Patience:
    Just as you show patience to friends and coworkers, extend that same kindness to your spouse. They deserve it just as much.

  4. Forgive and Problem-Solve Together:
    Remember that you are a team. Approach conflicts collaboratively, relying on each other’s strengths to find solutions.

  5. Choose Your Battles Wisely:
    Not every disagreement is worth pursuing. Focus on what truly matters to your relationship.

  6. Schedule Quality Time:
    Make time for your spouse a priority. Regular date nights are essential, as well as “bae-cations”—getaways with no distractions, just the two of you.

  7. Map Out Expectations Together:
    Regularly discuss your expectations, especially during significant life changes (e.g., job changes, family emergencies, or even a pandemic). This helps keep both partners aligned.

  8. Nurture Couple Friendships:
    Spend time with friends who support your marriage. Double dates and checking in with other couples can provide encouragement and valuable perspective. A strong support network is invaluable.                                                                                                                                                       These tips can help foster a deeper connection and create a more resilient partnership. If you’re reading this, a heartfelt thank you to those who support us—your friendship and wisdom mean the world!

– Deborah Richelieu, LMFT

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